Bullying in The Workplace

This is the ninth part of a series of blogs examining why people come to Hattrick Advisory Services for executive coaching and/or mentoring services. Of course, few come to us for only one thing, but these blogs examine the most common themes that arise in our confidential services. You can read the eighth article in this series here.

Being bullied remains a distressingly common theme. It is often not dealt with well by organisations, especially if the perpetrator is senior to the victim (as is nearly always the case). Clients usually need to find coping mechanisms as they navigate a way forward. While recognising they are the victim, it is often hard to balance career, reputation and other pressures as they deal with the complex situation. Some HAS coaches have very direct experience with this, and all of them can stand beside you as you find a way forward.

Bullying can take different forms, which may overlap: 

• Physical bullying: This involves intentional acts of violence or aggression, such as hitting, kicking, tripping, or stealing.
• Verbal bullying: This includes name-calling, teasing, insults, and threats.
• Emotional bullying: This involves behaviours that damage a person’s self-esteem or social relationships, such as spreading rumours, exclusion, or manipulation.
• Cyberbullying: This involves the use of technology to harass, threaten, or embarrass someone online.

Unfortunately, at Hattrick, hearing about workplace bullying is a fact of life for our coaches. Interestingly, our clients in the not-for-profit space mention it more frequently than in the corporate world. We know it is hard, can be deeply traumatic, and has serious personal consequences. At HAS, we have coaches who specialise in this and have very personal experience with working with those are bullied and work in a culture when it is sadly normalised. 

 normalised. 

Clients who are bullied often blame themselves and feel that they have somehow caused the injustice they are facing. There can be something deeply shaming when someone— senior to you sets out to undermine you. 

We will work with clients to help them understand the ‘why’ of being bullied. Why are you being bullied in particular? Usually, it is about the fear and insecurity of the bully. They also often think that they will get away with it because of their position in the organisation’s hierarchy.  And yet, as a victim, what can you do about it, and how can coaching help you come to terms with it, accept it, and understand you are not to blame? 

First, the coach may show empathy. Coaches have often experienced a similar experience. It happened twice in my career, fortunately not in the early stages, before I understood it better and could make decisions based on that experience.

In one case, it was a very insecure boss who sought to undermine both the team I led and me personally. He was more senior, a narcissist, and failing in his own role. One by one, he picked off my colleagues and blamed them for his failings. Some colleagues and I tried to write to the board and point out what was happening and how damaging it was to the organization. The board ignored our communication, did the easy thing, and moved on. There is a lesson here for the victim. Bullying by senior colleagues may not always have consequences. There is an unfortunate need to look at this everyday reality. 

The lesson was amplified more recently when a deeply insecure colleague was abusive to me and, remotely, the people who led the organization. I felt, as did others, that he was worried about the competence of others impacting on him. This time, I complained formally, knowing that the organization would not take it seriously. Of course, they pretended to take it seriously, held an inquiry of sorts, and even held an ‘independent’ investigation when the company investigating was a contractor who could be relied upon to reach the ‘right’ conclusion. In this case, it wasn’t very traumatic/ because I had very low expectations.

This can be deeply disturbing, as many of our clients will attest. In both the examples above, I felt abused, especially knowing that in the end, nothing would likely happen to the perpetrators. But I also felt calm in knowing I was in the right and acted fully aware that, in the end, I would likely leave the organization. 

When our clients come to us with cases of bullying in the workplace, we usually begin with an understanding of what they want to achieve. Do they want to remain in the organisation? Do they want to make their point and move on? Or do they, as most do, want to deal with it, work with it and stay in and move on? 

The cold, unfair facts are harsh. In most cases, if you complain about someone senior bullying, you will lose your job. Is that fair? No. Is it right? No. Is it just? Not at all. If you doubt this, then here is an invitation to look at one of the most recent cases of employee abuse, which led to hundreds being sacked, convicted and fined. In this case, after two decades and multiple natural deaths, they partially won their case. The UK post office fraud, brilliantly dramatized, showed how long-term tenacity and effort may ultimately bring something akin to justice. Unfortunately, few of us will have the time or money for this. And we will worry about the impact of such actions on our careers. 

Some organisations, regardless of their values and what they say they will do, are self-serving and defensive. So, when you challenge them, they will blame you. Of course, there are many organisations that will take bullying seriously and will not blame the victim. Coaching can provide you with a window on your individual circumstances. 

Partly because of this experience and knowledge, Hattrick may have the right coaches to help you come to terms with bullying. Ultimately, the coach will provide space for you to think through the situation you face and to work with you on the strategies that best suit your position. Fight or flight, the strategies are yours and your coach will be supportive on your journey. 

We look forward to a time when fewer and fewer cases of bullying present themselves to us. We fully appreciate the personal and professional challenges bullying causes you and, ultimately, the damage it can cause to you and the companies that allow it to continue. 

If you wish to discuss this with us on a confidential basis, please do get in touch. We never charge for initial consultations, and there is no expectation that you will take the engagement further.