This is the sixth part of a series of blogs examining why people come to Hattrick Advisory Services for executive coaching and/or mentoring services. Of course, few come to us for only one thing, but these blogs examine the most common themes that arise in our confidential services. You can read the fifth article in this series here.
It is rare for anyone in management to not have these challenges. We will work with you on your values, what you want from your work, and other aspects of your life. We may challenge your assumptions about what you need to do and how you need to be seen to behave. We will help you unearth strategic approaches to achieve the balance you desire.
At HAS, we like to explore this with clients and invite them to uncover for themselves the real driver of this imbalance. What is it they are really trying to address or perhaps avoid? Are you running towards or away from something? Indeed if you are lucky, it may be that your ‘life’ and ‘work’ are, in reality, two sides of the same coin, both being fundamental parts of who you are, your identity. As an executive coach and mentor, I feel incredibly privileged to unpack this with clients and see it as deeply connected with the rest of my life, as opposed to separate from it.
We like to stand back with clients and ponder what ‘balance’ ‘work’ and ‘life’ mean to you, the client. Not in an abstract, academic sense but in your life and those who matter to you. It may be about looking to others for advice to, such as management guru Steven Covey who wrote, ‘The key is not to prioritise what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities,’ which sounds so simple or Matthew Kelly’s comment that ‘Work-life balance is not an entitlement or benefit. Your company cannot give it to you. I suggest this is really about you first and foremost, and then those most impacted by your decisions.
We usually find such conflicts of balance can be cyclical, as this article for Havard Business Review suggests. At times of very high work demands, balance can go out of the window, and it’s easy for executives to develop habits that ignore anything other than the office. I remember a client, let’s call her Alice, telling me that she was working 80 hours a week, her family were complaining, she wasn’t doing quality work, her boss was unhappy, and it was getting worse for her. I worked with Alice, not the particular problem, the 80 hours a week, but on who she was, and what she wanted to be. She was clear it wasn’t this, so we were able to pause, reset and refocus on how she could fulfill what she wanted rather than what she was currently doing.
When I think back over previous clients who have worked on this issue with me, I would say that by far the most conflicted have been women. There is often a guilt factor, a feeling that family should be first and their career second. While some male clients do express this, more see it in terms of their own career ambitions and desires. Again, as coaches, our role is not to judge or ask why but to work with you to uncover what you really want for yourself and others who are a part of your life.
For female clients, I often recommend this book, or perhaps Sheryl Sandberg’s ‘Lean in: Women, Work and the Will to Lead’ written a decade ago. They are very different, with at times, contrasting views about how women can be most fulfilled. Ultimately, of course, the only answer to this question is an individual one, that of our client.
Regardless of gender, it’s interesting just how many thinkers, writers and coaches have focused on this issue. From the late stages of the Industrial Revolution, when 14-hour days were not uncommon for children and adults alike, to the contemporary wheel of life tools, which we sometimes use with clients to a full-blown literature review which shows just how much thought has gone into this field.
Work from home/pixabay
And then there was Covid. Just as we were learning how to balance office with home and other aspects of our lives, many of us found ourselves locked out of the office and having to rethink how we manage this ‘balance’ while being at home all the time. We might be on Zoom working 8 hours a day. We could be doing this alone and unhappily isolated, or in a small space with children requiring attention while we try and pay attention to a meeting—new complexities: new balances to find.
For some of us, including this author, working from home brings with it many advantages around time, scheduling, and a certain control. But to adapt to it positively, we do need to adjust mindsets and things in a way that we didn’t really know how to before the pandemic. I found this book extremely helpful in thinking about the positives of this situation and also in how to mitigate some of the potential downsides. But, as your coach, we will stress again that the solutions are personal, not generic.
For perhaps the first time in many decades, the future of work is being invented around us. For many, this includes the opportunity for hybrid working, focusing on the gig economy, managing teams remotely, and much else besides. It also means adopting a new understanding of leading a ‘balanced’ and fulfilled life.
At HAS, we are familiar with these issues and hope you bring some new ones that challenge us. Either way, we look forward to working with you at this exciting time, unpacking your needs with you, and developing a road map for you to navigate your future in the most fulfilling way you can.
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